Not in control

An old friend of mine is a former Lutheran pastor and post graduate of the Yale divinity school. He once told me that the role of religion is to prevent people from believing we are gods. I've always felt that this is one of the best reasons I have heard for the value of religion. The human tendency toward grandiosity is one of our biggest problems. Unfortunately it seems like the more progress we make in science and technology the harder it is to resist this pull: we seem doomed to believe we are omniscient.

Accepting a life-threatening cancer diagnosis is a great way to get in touch with the humility that most of us should feel routinely (NOTE: there are easier ways to develop this skill!). However, it seems that, even in this most powerless of situations, we routinely take credit/blame for the progress of the disease.

This is reflected in so many of the reactions to cancer. For instance, a common suggestion is that the  cancer can be can beat it if we simply eat a particular food or by "detoxifying". Another response is for somebody to investigate why the cancer victim is responsible for the disease (what does she eat? did she take birth control? did he exercise enough?) 

The reality of cancer is that, with a few exceptions, there is nothing we could have done to prevent it (or at least, nothing we could have KNOWN to have done). There are a few known carcinogens that we know contribute to cancer (e.g., smoking and asbestos and coal for lung cancer) and a few foods that may have slight correlation but most cancers are simply bad luck. Bad genes or simply a bad branching in the natural (yes…natural) mutations which affect all creatures. It is estimated that by age 60 almost everybody has some form of cancer. Most simply never evolve to a disease that we diagnose. Depending on the data used it is estimated that 35-45% of people will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime.

We seem to act just as arrogantly on the credit side. One of our most basic responses to a cancer diagnosis is to assume that the victim can "fight" the cancer. "You are a fighter.  You can beat this".  The power is in our hands...we just need to fight harder! There are, of course, actions you can and should take to improve your odds of curing your disease: getting the best medical team, understanding your choices, taking medications, etc. In the end though, the outcome is largely out of our control. The cancer makes her¹ own decision.

This hubris is quite ridiculous. To assume that WE can fix the cancer supposes that if we don’t we were bad warriors. “Susan is in remission: she is a cancer slayer”. “Barney died: I guess he missed cancer slayer training”.

The credit that cancer survivors deserve is not the fact that they are cured. They merit credit because they endured the treatment or symptoms of the disease! Faced with the prospect of death they held it together and continued to be good parents, spouses, friends, family members and/or workers.  THAT is hard.

We are not in control of everything.

¹I’m tired of naming everything evil with a male pronoun.